by David J Riddell, Nelson, NZ
To Serve or Not to Serve – That is the Question (Obligation versus Ownership)
Life can be a series of choices between that which is born of obligation and that which is born of one’s own enthusiasm. Pretty soon one can find oneself constantly caught in the tea between these two massive psychological forces. Selflessness versus selfishness. What ‘I’ need versus what ‘they’ need. What I want to do versus what I oughtto do. To help equip you for what is an endlessly on-going emotional battle for many people today, here are the two systems more clearly delineated to enable faster recognition of your dilemma.
Two Words: –
Ownership:my heart is in what I do.
Obligation:I have an ulterior motive, which isn’t quite cutting it.
Obligation equals resentment. Ownership equals enthusiasm. Service of others can be either, so the simple solution is to love it or refuse it. Therefore, to either do it or negotiate it might be the options you face, i.e. to comply or to counter-proposition, and to keep on counter-propositioning until we have reached what can only be described as enthusiastic agreement.
Now the entire solution is to either get your body where your heart is, or to get your heart to where your body is, and not to go on living with an on-going ambivalence. To be ambivalent is to be double minded, and double minded is mental tension, and mental tension is emotionally exhausting. (No wonder you feel tired so much of the time).
And yes, it is indeed ‘more blessed to five than to receive’ according to the words of our Master, with this one caveat; that you serve on your own terms. Truly, what indeed must be done, should be done ‘with all of our might’, or else there is an on-going emotional dualism.
Now faithfulness is one thing, but obligation is quite another. Faithfulness serves whether it suits me or not, because I have a higher call – a higher purpose – that cares not for minor inconvenience; enthusiasm isunthreatened by faithfulness. Obligation, by contrast, is a great threat to enthusiasm, bleeding the life out of motivation and ownership, because, quite frankly, my heart just isn’t in it. And if I’m not into it, I won’t last, for my outgoings are now exceeding my incomings so the upkeep will prove to be my downfall, in time. Welcome to ‘brownout’ – guess what’s coming next if nothing is done about it? Yes, burnout!
This also sheds new light on Gethsemane; it now becomes the place where I ensure that faithfulness doesn’t simply slide into a resentful martyrdom. It is the place (space) where I regain ownership, and avoid the resentment that double-minded dualism invariably brings.
Now I can face my ‘obligations’; to my spouse/marriage, children and friends, without fear of losing myself– my freedom – my own agenda in the process. Now I can get back the reins of my own life; in driving the children all over, home-care and cooking, sexual intimacy with my spouse or just paying the bills. I’m loving it all because it is how I’ve chosento spend my time, and no one else chose it forme.
In this lies the key to sustainability, and what is sustainable is also true.
If you are interested in the Resource on this topic by David Riddell please email the Riddell’s.
Living Wisdom Schools
I have run 3 schools so far this year. Brisbane in January, Dalby in March and Zambia in April. I am now in Cairns to start the two week school from the 24th June to the 5th July. Remember, that anyone can come for a full day FREE of charge as our guest at any school. Click here for more details if you would like to attend. I have a school planned for Perth in October but would really like to hear from anyone interested in that before I book my air tickets. So, please, drop me a line if you are considering attending.
Living Wisdom in Africa
Both David Riddell and I were in Zambia in April this year at different ends of the country, I was south and David was in the north. David ran a two-week school with Steven Sakala who is a passionate Zambian determined to bring wisdom, truth and freedom to the people of his country. (link to website) They had around 30 students while I was in Kalomo with 18 students. That is 48 people in Zambia being taught, trained, equipped and feed with something that can continue sending out impacting ripples for decades to come. It would be good for us to find a way to bring these two groups of people together and we plan to return in 2021 to see if we can do that and run another school. We will need sponsorship to do this but know that God is a wonderful and faithful provider and that people are generous when they are enthusiastic for a cause. Is Africa on your heart? Both David and I are grateful for the opportunity to minister to these students and it is certainly mutual learning and growing
Living Wisdom in England
After Zambia, I flew up to England to meet my mother (who flew from New Zealand) for a two week road trip around parts of England and Wales. What a wonderful time we had and what beautiful countries. Thanks to a couple of Living Wisdom Ambassadors in Kent, England, I ran two evening workshops while I was there. It was so good to meet some keen students and give them a taste of the Living Wisdom material. As a follow up Vanessa is offering the 7 -week Trace, Face, Replace DVD course for those who are interested. Please email her to make her aware of your interest or to ask her for more information.
I also was incredibly blessed to spend a few hours, in Birmingham with students who attended a school with me in Uganda.
David Riddell in Brisbane – August
I am excited to let you know that from the 23rd to 30th August David Riddell will be here in the Brisbane area to run workshops and training before he heads up to Mackay for the Oceania Masters Championships. We are working on an itinerary with a wide variety of Workshop topics as well as a ‘family gathering” for all Living Wisdom friends, presenters, counsellors and ambassadors. I will continue to update this PDF file as we finalise venues and topics but I am half way there and if you can start locking in dates now to attend that would be great. We are calling you from north, south, east and west to come and make the most of this opportunity. I know that driving several hours is no big deal to Australians!
My Life Rulz Update
In February I re-filmed the My Life Rulz Workshop. Laurie (Our My Life Rulz artist) and her son Jeremy have spent hundreds of hours editing the footage and uploading it, segment by segment to the new My Life Rulz You Tube Channel. The process is nearly complete and I am very thankful to them for all their hard work and commitment to the ongoing work of this project. The You Tube Channel replaces the User Guide DVD which was in the back of the Children’s Book, so it is now available for the world to see.
This workshop discusses: –
– How the MLR resources work
– How the implementation of replacing stinking thinking for healthy thinking will develop emotional resilience over time
– An overview of each of the 10 rulz (emotional building blocks)
– An introduction from David Riddell who is the truth coach expert and taught me all that I know
I know if you are serious about empowering children (any age can benefit) then you will take the time to look through the 14 segments on the Channel. Please subscribe and tell others about it. There isn’t a week that goes by now when I am talking to a parent in my counselling practice who is looking for hope, a strategy and help with how to better help their child.
On a side note – I have been enjoying many You Tube Clips and podcasts of Jordan Peterson (Canadian Professor and Psychologist) whose latest book is ’12 Rules for Life’ and I am so encouraged how closely aligned the concepts are to our 10 Life Rulz.
Resources for Rapid Personal Growth
I spent a couple of years listening to Living Wisdom workshops before I actually got to attend my first two-week school back in the year 2000. It helped me incredibly to unpack what was making me tick and some practical tools on what I could start doing about the things that were problematic in my life.
Why not have a good look around the digital downloads and other resources available for rapid personal growth and empowerment to have on your device, in the car, in your home or wherever you are. There are so many incredibly profound and helpful workshop topics available on these websites.